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MARRIAGE.
1) islamic view of marriage & divorce 4) MARRIAGE AGE 6) CONDITION OF WALI (GUARDIAN) 7) MARRIAGE WITHOUT WALI CONSENT 8) MARRIAGE CONTRACT OVER PHONE OR INTERNET 10) marriage nullified automatically 11) MARRIAGE BEFORE EXPIRY OF IDDAT (WAITING) PERIOD 12) marriage : WITHOUT DOWRY & WITNESS 14) marriage WITH TWO NON-MUSLIM WITNESSES 16) marriage : STATUS OF IMAM FOR MARRIAGE 17) marriage : PARENTAL CONSENT FOR MARRIAGE 18) marriage : RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS 19) MARRYING A GIRL WITH WHOM HE HAD A RELATIONSHIP 20) ISLAM'S STANCE ON LOVE AND MARRIAGE 21) MUSLIM WOMEN MARRYING CHRISTIAN MAN 22) MUSLIM WOMEN MARRIAGE TO NON-MUSLIM & INTERCOURSE 23) WHY WOMEN NOT ALLOWED TO MARRY NON-MUSLIM 24) WHY WOMAN NOT MORE THAN ONE HUSBAND 25) WOMAN CONVERTS TO ISLAM WHILE MARRIED TO A CHRISTIAN 26) WOMAN CONCLUDING HER OWN MARRIAGE 27) WOMEN CONVERTS TO ISLAM WHILE MARRIED TO A KAFIR 28) ADULTERER MARRIES NOT BUT AN ADULTERESS 29) PRESENT PEOPLE OF BOOK FOR MARRIAGE 30) SECOND MARRIAGE WITHOUT FIRST WIFE CONSENT 31) MUT'AH — THE LIMITED MARRIAGE 32) HUSBAND & WIFE : RIGHTS AND DUTIES 34) WOMAN RESPONSIBILITIES TO EARN HEAVEN 35) MUSLIM MARRIAGE PROBLEMS DUE TO CULTURE 36) MARRIED SPOUSE SAYING YOU ARE HARAM TO ME 38) HUSBAND LONG ABSENCE FROM HOME 39) IS CIVIL MARRIAGE PERMISSIBLE IN ISLAM? 40) COMMITTED ZINA & MARRIED, MARRIAGE VALID OR NOT 41) REMAINING UNMARRIED FOR THE SAKE OF WORSHIP 42) RULING ON DRINKING ONE'S WIFE'S MILK?
1. ISLAMIC VIEW OF Marriage & Divorce
Question:
Answer: Marriage and Divorce in Islamic Law are very simple. Marriage is encouraged while everything should be done to prevent divorce, although it is allowed. However, Islamic Law has been blended with culture, folklore, and tradition, whereby marriages and weddings have varied from a one-hour ceremony to a week ceremony, with simple and outrageous dowries, while divorces have involved families, friends, judges, and even whole communities. Couples consent is taken before marriage, especially women. Prophet, (pbuh), said: "A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others] Thus the Prophet, (pbuh), prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore, `Aa'ishah,(radhiallahu `anhaa), said that she asked the Prophet, (pbuh), "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a virgin will be shy, O Allaah’s Messenger." He answered: "Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others] Divorce is greatly discouraged unless all possibilities are done by couple and family members to keep them joined. This is the only allowed act which Allah accepts, but hate it. It is not compulsory for the husband to take the permission of the first wife, before marrying, because Qur’an says, ‘The only condition, for a person in which he can take more than one wife, is he should be just, between his wives’ . However it is preferable, that he takes the permission. And it is his duty, to inform his first wife that he is marrying, because Islam says... ‘If you have more than one wife, you have to do justice’. And if the permission is given by the first wife, but natural there will be more cordial relationship between the husband, and both the wives. But it is not compulsory, except in one condition, if the wife mentions in her marriage contract, that…‘I do not want you to take any other wife, as long as I am there’. Then it becomes compulsory for the husband, to take the permission of the wife, before marrying – Otherwise, in all other cases it is not compulsory, it is preferable.
2. GOOD MARRIAGE PROPOSALQuestion : What Islam lays down basics for a good marriage proposal? Answer : The criteria to choose a partner in life is very clear in Islam. The Prophet Mohammed (SAAW) said, "If someone comes to you (for marriage) and you like his Deen and ethics, then accept him as a bridegroom to your daughter. If you do not, there will be a fitnah on earth, and a big corruption." As for choosing a wife, the Prophet (SAAW) said, "The woman is married for four things: for her Deen, for her beauty, for her family status, and for her wealth. Choose the one with the Deen you will be safe." Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net Question : What are the criteria for choosing life partner in the light of golden teachings of Islam? Answer : The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, taught us in many Hadiths about the various characteristics which one looks for in a spouse, their relative importance, and which ones determine success, and bring Allah's blessing on a marriage, in sha Allah. Among those Hadiths are the following: Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him quotes the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, as saying, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser." (Reported by Al-Bukhari) Accordingly, the most important characteristics that one should look for in a spouse are: 1- Religion In the above Hadith, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, mentioned various characteristics that people, by their nature and custom, look for in a spouse. He did not advocate any of them, but merely stated them as facts of human nature except for the issue of "religion", i.e., a prospective spouse's piety and religiousness. About this characteristic, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser." This order is quite different from the general statement at the beginning of the above-mentioned Hadith. We must be careful not to be superficial in this issue. The mere wearing of Hijab or keeping a beard and praying in the Masjid, as routine compliance with requirements of piety, do not by themselves guarantee it. There are many people who at first glance appear to be abiding by Islam, but upon closer inspection, have a twisted understanding of Islam and their practice in reality may leave much to be desired. `Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, once told someone who had testified to the goodness of a person by the fact that he had seen him in the Masjid that he did not know him as long as he had no dealings with him that involved money, did not live with him, and did not travel with him. The characteristic of piety applies to the groom just as much as to the bride. This should be the main focus of both the woman’s guardian and suitor. In this context, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil." (Reported by At-Tirmidhi and others and classed as Hasan) 2- Character and Behavior In the above Hadith addressed to guardians and parents, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, commanded them to facilitate their marriage when they are satisfied with two issues: the faith of the suitor and his character. Character is of extreme importance in Islam and goes hand in hand with faith and piety. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, has even described it as the purpose of his mission to mankind as we can see in the following Hadiths: "I have only been sent to complete good character." (Reported by Al-Hakim and others and classed as Sahih) "I am a guarantor of a house in the highest degree of Paradise for one who makes his character good." (Reported by Abu Dawud and it is Hasan)
Allah
establishes the relation of this issue to marriage, saying: One of the important issues of character in the spouses is the quality of Wudd. This means kindness, lovingness and compassion. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Marry the loving/friendly, the child-bearing woman, for I shall outstrip the other nations with your numbers on the Day of Judgment." (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and others and classed as Sahih) 3- Child-Bearing : As we see in the above-mentioned Hadith, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, recommended men to marry women who are child-bearing. This characteristic is related to some of the goals and purposes of marriage that were mentioned earlier such as procreating the Muslim Ummah, raising a pious family as a cornerstone of society and so forth.
4-Virginity
"Marry virgins for they have sweeter mouths, more productive wombs, and are contented with little they get." (Reported by At-Tabarani and it is Hasan) Other narrations indicate that a virgin is more likely to be pleased by a man and less likely to be devious and deceiving. Once, when Jabir married an older and previously married woman, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said to him, "Why not a virgin? You could have played with her and she with you."
Muslim
scholars stress that this good attribute applies to man just as it
applies to woman. `Umar ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him,
once heard about a woman who was married to an elderly man and he said:
"O people, fear Allah and let people marry their types.” This characteristic has a certain role to play since one of the purposes of marriage is to keep both spouses from sins. The best way to do this is to have a strong attraction between spouses. Although this is something which surely grows over time, initial impressions can in some cases become an obstacle to a successful marriage. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, separated Qays ibn Shamas from his wife in the famous case of Khul` and her stated reason was that he was exceedingly displeasing to her. There are many Hadiths which urge the prospective spouse to get a look at the other before undertaking the marriage. Once a Companion told the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, that he was going to get married. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, asked if he had seen her. When the man answered in negative, he, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Go and look at her for it is more likely to engender love between the two of you." (Reported by Ahmad and others and it is Sahih) Ibn `Abidin, a famous Muslim jurist, said, "The woman should choose a man who is religious, of good character, generous and of ample wealth. She should not marry an evildoer. A person should not marry his young daughter to an old or an ugly man, but he should marry her to one similar."
Beauty has
its role, but remember that it is way down on the priority list under
piety, character and religion. When a person puts beauty above all else,
the consequences can be disastrous. This is one of the main reasons that
young people seeking to get married must be helped by more mature family
members in making their choice. The questions of common language, background, education and age, etc., are meant, in an ordinary stable context, to maximize the chances of success and stability in a very important Islamic institution, that of marriage. However, considering the particular position of Muslim communities living in minority situations, young Muslims, male and female, are exposed to all sorts of challenges - be they cultural, linguistic, racial or social. The most fundamental question when choosing a partner is a religious one- As far as language, background, or social position are concerned, these are not significant factors that absolutely must be fulfilled before a marriage can take place. If the prospective partner is of good character, with a strong religious inclination, and the two young people are happy and feel compatible with one another, other considerations are not of such importance.” Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net
Question:
Why Islam allowed to marry children (girls) of age below 10 without
their permission (it is said that in the case of children, it requires
the consent of their parents only). Marriage has to be taken place
between the persons, who have even a little maturity. But in the case of
children it does not happens. Can you justify this ruling of Islam
(Child marriage) ?
Is it possible to have intercourse with girls before puberty, would not
this physically and mentally harmful to the girl? Is such a thing
permissible in Islam, and if it is permissible then what is the minimum
age for marriage execution in Islam, since puberty is not a requirement.
Answer:
Praise be to
Allah.
Marrying a young girl before she reaches the age of adolescence is
permitted in sharee’ah; indeed it was narrated that there was scholarly
consensus on this point.
(a) Quran says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for
them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their
periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they
are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months
likewise”
(At-Talaaq 65:4)
In this verse we see that it has made the ‘iddah in the case of divorce
of a girl who does not have periods – because she is young and has not
yet reached puberty – three months. This clearly indicates that
Allah has made this a valid
marriage.
(b)
It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may be pleased with her) that the
Prophet (peace and blessings of
be upon him) married her when she was six years old, he
consummated the marriage with her when she was nine and she stayed with
him for nine years.
(Narrated by Al-Bukhaari, 4840; Muslim, 1422)
The fact that it is permissible to marry a young girl does not mean that
it is permissible to have intercourse with her; rather that should not
be done until she is able for it. For that reason the Prophet (peace and
blessings of be upon him)
delayed the consummation of his marriage to ‘Aa’ishah.
Jurists
discussed the issue of marrying a girl before puberty, i.e. a girl who
might not be able to have sexual intercourse due to her young age.
They agreed that
the Wali can marry a girl before puberty. But when she reaches puberty,
she has the right to choose either to nullify the marriage contract or
to continue her marital life.
Also, the
Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, married Aishah, may
be pleased with her, before she reached the age of puberty.
Hence, we conclude that puberty is not a condition for executing
marriage. The only condition is the wife’s ability to bear
responsibilities of marital life.
However, we do
not recommend marriage before puberty because at that early age, the
girl can’t fulfill her obligations towards her husband properly, nor can
she know her rights towards him.
Thus, to avoid any negligence or liability on her part we do not
recommend marriage at such an early age. It is preferable for a guardian
not to marry his daughter when she is still young unless there is a
valid reason for that.
And Allah knows the best.
Excerpted,
with slight modifications, from:
www.islamonline.net
&
www.islamq&a 5. DOWERY (MAHR) IN ISLAMQuestion : I would like to know what is the concept of mahr in Islam? What should be the mahr for someone living in California, USA? I am getting married soon and my in-laws would like the mahr to be set according to the Shari`ah. Answer : In Islam, the mahr (dower) is a woman's right and that signifies a husband's love and appreciation for his wife. There is no fixed amount of mahr in the Shari`ah. It should be given according to the financial status of the husband and according to the time and place. However, it should be reasonable and not too expensive. The bride's guardian and family should focus on the religious commitment and character of the suitor rather than asking for huge amounts of dower which burdens the youths who want to get married and protect themselves against temptations. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) never demanded huge amounts of dower when giving his daughters in marriage. He is also reported to have said, "The best woman is the one whose mahr is the easiest to pay." (Reported by al-Haythami)
Answering
the questions you raised, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former
President of the Islamic Society of North America, states: He Almighty also says: “And those of whom ye seek content (by marrying them), give unto them their portions as a duty…” (An-Nisa' 4:24) Mahr is very important in Islamic marriage. Allah has used the word "faridah" for it. It means something fixed, decided and obligatory. It is obligatory on the husband to pay mahr to his wife unless she expressly by her own will without any pressure forgives him or returns the amount of mahr to him. Mahr belongs to the wife and it is to be given to her only. It is not the property of her parents or her guardian. No one can forgive the husband to pay the Mahr except the wife herself or, in case she did not go to her husband and the marriage ended without consummation, then in that situation her guardian can also forgive the mahr on her behalf. If a husband dies without paying mahr to his wife, it will be an outstanding debt on him and it must be paid before the distribution of his inheritance among his heirs.
Mahr
is not a bride price. It is a woman's right and it signifies a husband's
love and appreciation for his wife. In the Qur'an it is called "sadaqah"
which means a token of friendship. It is also called "nihlah"
which means "a nice gift or present." Mahr also signifies a
husband's commitment to take care of his wife's financial needs (nafaqah).
According to the Shari`ah, the mahr should also be reasonable. There is no fixed amount of mahr in the Shari`ah. It should be given according to the financial status of the husband and according to the time and place. However, it is a principle of the Shari`ah that the mahr should not be too expensive. It is wrong to declare large amount of mahr at the time of marriage to show off or to boast. Some time bride's family put pressure on the groom and his family for a large amount of mahr so that they may show their pride to their relatives and friends boasting that their daughter was married for a big mahr. Sometimes the groom declares a big amount and secretly thinks that this is just a commitment on paper. People are often heard saying, "Write whatever you want, no one asks and no one pays." This is playing a game with the rules of Allah. Muslims should only commit to what they are really capable of paying and what they intend to pay. It is haram to enjoy relations with a wife and then deny her the mahr when she demands.” Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net 6. CONDITIONS OF WALEE (GUARDIAN) Question : What exactly constitutes a guardian, as is needed in the Nikkah ceremony? I am a female Muslim, and I want to know if my older brother is acceptable for this role? Answer: Praise be to Allah. There are three pillars or conditions for the marriage contract in Islam: 1. Both parties should be free of any obstacles that might prevent the marriage from being valid, such as their being mahrams of one another (i.e., close relatives who are permanently forbidden to marry), whether this relationship is through blood ties or through breastfeeding (radaa’) etc., or where the man is a kaafir (non-Muslim) and the woman is a Muslim, and so on. 2. There should be an offer or proposal (eejaab) from the walee or the person who is acting in his place, who should say to the groom “I marry so-and-so to you” or similar words. 3. There should be an expression of acceptance (qabool) on the part of the groom or whoever is acting in his place, who should say, “I accept,” or similar words. The conditions of a proper nikaah (marriage contract) are as follows:
The conditions of the walee are as follows: 1) He should be of sound mind. 2) He should be an adult. 3) He should be free (not a slave). 4) He should be of the same religion as the bride. A kaafir cannot be the walee of a Muslim, male or female, and a Muslim cannot be the walee of a kaafir, male or female, but a kaafir can be the walee of a kaafir woman for marriage purposes, even if they are of different religions. An apostate (one who has left Islam) cannot be a walee for anybody. 5) He should be of good character (‘adaalah – includes piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as opposed to being corrupt. This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although some of them regard the outward appearance of good character as being sufficient, and some say that it is enough if he is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the interests of the woman for whom he is acting as walee in the matter of her marriage. 6) He should be male, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7298) 7) He should be wise and mature (rushd), which means being able to understand matters of compatibility and the interests of marriage. The fuqahaa’ put possible walees in a certain order, and a walee who is more closely-related should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified conditions. A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own. And Allah knows best. Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid Excerpted, with some modifications, from: http://islamqa.com/en/ 7. MARRIAGE WITHOUT WALI CONSENT Question: If a brother and a sister are interested in each other in marriage, but the Walee doesn't want the sister to get married until a certain age. I know that the Prophet encouraged marriage at a young age to protect the chastity of the youngsters. He also said that the one seeking marriage has the right from Allah swt to be helped. How does Islam view that position of the Wali? And is the sister allowed to get married without the Walee's acceptance due to the situation? Does a divorced woman need a wali to marry again? Answer :
A wali's
permission is very important for marriage. According to many jurists,
the marriage is not even valid without the permission of the wali. A Wali has nothing to do with a virgin or a non-virgin woman. A Wali is needed in order to help the woman from not being deceived or misguided in accepting the proposed husband. A Wali doesn’t mean that he has power over her will, rather, he is helpful in his sincerity and devotion, and because he can know more about this man more than the woman could. Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net
8. MARRIAGE
CONTRACT OVER PHONE OR INTERNET
Question:
Is it valid to do the marriage contract over a WebCam? Because I heard
that it is not permissible as one of the conditions of marriage is that
it should be done in one place?
Answer:
Praise be to Allah.
The proposal (eejaab) and acceptance (qubool) form one of
the pillars or essential parts of the marriage contract, without which
it is not valid. The proposal is said by the wali (guardian) or his
proxy and the acceptance is said by the husband or his proxy.
It is stipulated that the proposal and acceptance should come in one
sitting. It says in Kashshaaf
al-Qinaa‘ (5/41): If
there is a lapse of time between the proposal and acceptance, it is
valid so long as both are done in the same gathering and there is no
distraction that would count as an interruption according to local
custom, even if the interval between the two is lengthy. But if they
part before the acceptance is spoken after the proposal has been issued,
then the proposal becomes invalid. The same applies if there is a
distraction that interrupts the proceedings according to local custom,
because that is turning away from it and it is as if the proposal had
been rejected. End quote.
Similarly, it is also stipulated that witnesses be present in order for
the marriage contract to be valid.
Based on that, the scholars differed with regard to doing the marriage
contract by using modern needs such as the telephone and the Internet.
Some of them say that that is not permissible, because of the absence of
witnesses, even though the presence of two witnesses on the phone at the
same time comes under the same ruling as if they were in the same place.
This is the view of the Islamic Fiqh Council (Majma‘ al-Fiqh
al-Islami).
Some of the scholars are of the view that this should be disallowed, as
a precaution to protect the marriage, because it is possible to imitate
a person’s voice and thus deceive others. This is what is stated in
fatwas issued by the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas.
Some of the scholars regard it as permissible so long as there is no
risk of tampering. This is what was stated in fatwas issued by Shaykh
Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him).
Thus it is known that the problem is not the issue of being the same
place, because contact between both parties at the same time via the
phone or Internet comes under the same ruling as if they were in the
same place.
It is also possible for this marriage contract to be witnessed, by
hearing the voice of the speaker over the phone or Internet; in fact
with technological advances nowadays it is possible to see the wali and
hear his voice when he makes the proposal, and it is also possible to
see the husband.
Hence the most correct view with regard to this matter is that it is
permissible to do the marriage contract over the phone or Internet, if
there is no danger of tampering, the identity of the husband and wali is
proven, and the two witnesses can hear the proposal and acceptance. This
is what was stated in fatwas issued by Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have
mercy on him), as stated above. It is also what is implied by the fatwa
of the Standing Committee, which disallowed marriage in such cases as a
precaution and for fear of deceit.
The one who wants to be on the safe side may do the marriage contract by
appointing proxies; so the husband or guardian may appoint someone to do
the marriage contract on his behalf in front of witnesses.
There follow the comments of scholars that confirm what we have referred
to:
1. Statement of the Islamic Fiqh Council:
Statement no. 52 (6/2) concerning the ruling on contracts via modern
needs of communication.
After stating that it is permissible to do contracts via modern means of
communication, the Council said:
The guidelines mentioned above do not apply to the marriage contract,
because of the stipulation that witnesses be present in that case. End
quote.
2. Fatwa of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas:
Question:
If the pillars or essential parts and conditions of the marriage
contract are fulfilled, except that the wali and the husband are in
different countries, is it permissible to do the marriage contract by
phone or not?
Answer:
Because nowadays deceit and trickery are widespread, and some people are
skilled at imitating others, and some are able to make their voice sound
like a number of people, male and female, young and old, and even speak
different dialects and languages, so that the listener thinks that
several people are speaking when in fact it is only one person, and
because Islamic sharee‘ah is concerned with protecting people’s chastity
and honour, and takes more precautions than other religions with regard
to contracts and dealings, the Committee thinks that it is not
appropriate, with regard to marriage contracts, the proposal and
acceptance, and appointing proxies, to handle such matters over the
phone. This is in order to achieve the aims of sharee‘ah and protect
people’s chastity and honour, so that those who follow whims and desires
and those that seek to deceive and cheat people will not be able to toy
with matters of marriage. And Allah is the source of strength.
End quote from Fataawa
al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah, 18/90
3. Fatwa of Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have
mercy on him)
Question:
I want to get married to a girl and her father is in another country; at
present I cannot travel to meet him and do the marriage contract, for
financial or other reasons. I am currently in a foreign country. Is it
permissible for me to call her father so that he can say to me, “I give
you my daughter So and so in marriage,” and I can say, “I accept.” The
girl agrees to the marriage and there are two Muslim witnesses who can
listen to what I say and what he says, via the speakers on the phone. Is
this regarded as a legitimate marriage contract?
Answer:
The website put this question to Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abdullah ibn
Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) and he replied that if what is
described is true (and there is no tampering involved), then it fulfills
the conditions of shar‘i marriage and the marriage contract is valid.
See the answer to question no. 2201.
And Allah knows best.
Excerpted, with some modifications, from: http://islamqa.com/en/ Question: Does marrying via web camera valid in the view of Islamic law?
Answer:
Excerpted from: www.islamonline.net
9. MARRIAGE FOR GREEN CARDQuestion :
Is it permissible in Islam to marry a woman in order to get the green card in the USA or obtain a nationality of a Western country, taking into consideration that this marriage will be nominal? Answer : Brother, you have to keep in mind the fact that marriage contract, in Islam, is so solemn that Islamic Shari`ah lays down rules and regulations that guarantees its stability and continuity. By the same token, Islam renounces all forms of temporary marriage. Therefore, nominal or paper marriage that is meant to obtain nationality from another country is null and void.
In this
context, two points need to be highlighted as follows: Secondly, marriage is a very sacred relationship, it should not be played with neither by having a paper marriage without the intention of marriage, nor by a paper divorce without the intention of divorce. If one is so desperate to live in the West and there is no other way possible except through marriage then one should have a real marriage, not paper marriage. Focusing more on your question, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, states: “Such marriage is not lawful. Nominal marriage that lacks the real sense of marriage is not permissible at all. In a symposium held at the European College in France, the attendants unanimously agreed that any marriage undertaken without any real intention of marriage is absolutely forbidden. This kind of marriage does not entail any right or duties. In Islam, the main foundation of marriage is set forth in Allah's saying: "He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (heats)." (Ar-Rum 30:21) Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net
10. Marriage: Nullified automatically Question : I have been married for five years, but recently my wife's conduct toward me has changed dramatically. She always quarrels with me for the most trivial things. Recently, I saw a photograph of her taken in a restaurant with a man sitting with her over a cup of coffee. Since then, I have been thinking certainly about divorce. May I seek your advice and also ask what should be a man's attitude in such a situation. Answer : The first part of this question is better referred to a marriage counselor rather than to a person like myself who looks at problems purely from the Islamic angle. It is not for me to pinpoint the causes for a change of behavior between married partners. What I can say, however, is that both man and wife must always be kind to each other and respect the rights of the other spouse, trying always to consolidate their relationship on the basis of mutual care and compassion. I can advise my reader, however, that he should try to determine the causes which have brought about the change in his wife's behavior and try to remedy those causes. I can also tell him that Allah has permitted divorce as a means to solve intractable marital problems. If he feels that his marriage has run into such a problem, then divorce is an option which he may consider. In divorce, the rights of the other party must always be respected and the duties of each of them should be honored. The second part of the question asks about different possibilities when a man finds his wife in an uncompromising situation. The answer is that he should try not to lose control of himself. Islam has provided a method to deal with such situations which gives everyone his or her dues. If a man accuses his wife of adultery and he can produce no witnesses to corroborate his claim, he is required to testify under oath five times that his accusation is true, adding in the fifth that he invokes Allah's curse on himself if he is lying. The wife will receive no punishment if she repels that charge with a testimony of her own. She has to swear five times by Allah that his charge is false, calling down Allah's wrath upon herself if it is true. If both man and wife go through this process of testifying under oath, and the man accuses his wife and she denies the charge, each of them swearing five time to assert his or her position, their marriage is automatically nullified and they cannot be remarried under any circumstances, whatsoever. Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News - Jeddah ) 11. MARRIAGE BEFORE EXPIRY OF IDDAT (WAITING) PERIOD Question : After a relative of mine was divorced, she had a new proposal. Because of certain circumstances, the man who has put in the proposal is in a hurry to get the marriage officially recorded. The problem is that she has not yet finished her waiting period. Since the waiting period is intended for establishing whether the divorcee is pregnant or not, is it permissible for her to establish that fact through pregnancy tests"? If she determines that she is not pregnant, can she go ahead with the marriage, before the waiting period is over? Answer: While it is true that an important purpose of waiting period is to establish whether a woman is pregnant or not, it is by no means the only purpose. In this particular point, there is a difference between the waiting period of a widow and that of a divorcee. In the case of a widow, the waiting period is longer in order to be absolutely certain whether there is a pregnancy or not. Moreover, the waiting period shows that the widow values here past relationship with her deceased husband. She does not immediately join with another man. In the case of a divorcee, there are certain rules of paramount important. To start with, the waiting period is not calculated by months or days, but by periods of menstruation or cleanliness from it. If the woman is not pregnant, her waiting period extends for three menstrual periods. If she is too old or too young to have the periods, then she waits for three months. If she is pregnant, her waiting extends until she has given birth. Whichever is the length of a woman's waiting period, she stays during that time in her husband's home. He is not allowed to turn her out and she need not leave. She is entitled to full maintenance by her husband throughout this period. He has the right to have the marriage resumed if both agree on that. In this case, they need not have a new marriage contract or have a fresh dower. This is a very important factor. [Added: This provides scope for reconciliation, which must not be taken away.] When a woman is in her waiting period, she may not receive a new proposal by anyone. Nor is a man allowed to promise marriage to a woman who is in her waiting period. All that he can do is to give an implicit hint. On this basis, the answer to your particular question is that a doctor's opinion may establish that a divorcee is not pregnant, but that is not sufficient for her to have a new marriage. The rights which her first husband continues to have during her waiting period cannot be easily dispensed with. Even if he agrees to her new marriage, the rules cannot be changed. 12. Marriage: WITHOUT DOWRY & WITNESS Question : I am a muslima who live in japan. And I got married Saudi man who has wife and children in Saudi Arabia. He came here for project and he’ll be leave soon. We married without any witness and he didn’t give me mahr. Sometimes he gave me gift. I was beginner in islam. And his first wife doesn’t know about that we married here. Now on I ask him to take me to Saudi Arabia or other country around Saudi Arabia. But he told me it’s impossible. And doesn’t want my family knows what I did with you. I am really got suffering from this. He always talks to me ‘we don’t know what will be happen and I can’t make sure for future with you” What is the mean of that? What can I ask for my right to him? Answer: Praise be to Allah. Firstly: There are essential pillars and conditions for marriage which must be met. That includes the guardian of the woman and two witnesses. If there is no guardian, two witnesses and publicising of the marriage among the people, then it is not valid. If only the guardian is missing, then it is not valid according to the majority of scholars, but it is valid according to some fuqaha’. If there are no witnesses, but it is publicised among people, this announcement is sufficient according to some scholars. The guardian of a Muslim woman must be a Muslim. Her guardian may be her son if she has one, then her father, then her grandfather, then her brother, and so on among her relatives on the father's side, the closest then the next closest. If she has no Muslim guardian, the Muslim judge may conduct her marriage if there is one, otherwise the head of the Islamic centre and the like may conduct her marriage, or a man of good character among the Muslims may conduct her marriage with her consent. The woman must have a dowry even if it is little. If the dowry is not mentioned in the marriage contract, the marriage is valid and she is entitled to a dowry like that of her peers, meaning that she is to be awarded a dowry that is equal to the dowry of her peers among women in her country. Whether your marriage is valid or invalid, the dowry is your right and if you have a child he is to be attributed to his father. In the event that the marriage is invalid because there was no guardian or witnesses or announcement, you have to keep away from this husband until a new and valid marriage contract is done. In that case the marriage must be documented and registered in the Saudi embassy in your country, so as to guarantee your rights and the rights of your children in the future. Secondly: The husband is obliged to provide suitable accommodation for his wife and to spend on what she needs. He does not have the right to leave her in a country where she is not safe, and he does not have the right to be away from her for more than six months except with her consent. If he has finished with the purpose for which he came to the country in which he got married, whether it was business or study or anything else, and he wants to go back to his original country, then he must take his wife with him and at least provide her with accommodation in another city, other than the city in which his first wife lives, until he has the chance to tell his first his first wife about his new wife. If he refuses to give her her rights or take her with him, and he wants to leave her in her country where he married her – for longer than the period that we have mentioned -- and she does not agree to that, then she has the right to ask for divorce. What we advise Muslim women who live in countries like yours and what we advise their guardians also, is not to rush to do and take their time before agreeing to any marriage, and to find out precise details about the situation of any stranger who wants to marry their daughters and is living in their countries for any purpose, whether it is for study or business or tourism and so on. Many of these people, very many, are not serious about marriage and they do not want to take a solemn covenant on which to build a family; rather all they care about is fulfilling their desire right now, then when they have finished with their business they leave the country and they leave behind a wife and maybe children too, if they have children. “… and Allah will inform them of what they used to do” (Al-Maa’idah 5:14). And Allah knows best. Excerpted, with some modifications, from: http://islamqa.com/en/ Question : Is the marriage taken place between girl and man is valid with evidence presence of a man and women? Answer: Marriage did not take place in above condition even both have accepted this marriage. Minimum required is two men or a man and two women. If anybody has done that without this, then that marriage is invalid, and they are involved in adultery (if they are keeping sexual relations). 14. MARRIAGE WITH TWO NON-MUSLIM WITNESSESQuestion : I got married in a non-Muslim country in the embassy of the country that my wife is from, so that she would have a wali (guardian), but the witnesses were not Muslim. Is my marriage permissible despite that? Answer : Praise be to Allah. In order for a marriage to be valid, it is essential to have two Muslim witnesses of good character, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 7557 Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Marriage cannot be done except with two Muslim witnesses, whether the couple are both Muslims, or only the husband is Muslim. This was stated by Ahmad, and it is the view of al-Shaafa’i, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” End quote from al-Mughni (7/7). The majority of scholars are of the view that having witnesses is essential to the validity of the marriage, except the Maalikis who say that it is permissible to delay the witnessing of the marriage until before consummation, and it is not necessary for it to be at the time the marriage contact is done. Based on this, if two Muslim witnesses testify to your marriage now, before consummation, it is valid. See Haashiyat al-Dasooqi (2/216). Some of the scholars are of the view that having the marriage witnessed is not an essential condition, rather it is sufficient to announce the marriage; if the marriage is proclaimed and announced, it is valid. This is the view of al-Zuhri and Imam Maalik. This view was favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and was regarded as more correct by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him). See: al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 12/94. Shaykh al-Islam (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Undoubtedly a marriage that is announced is valid even if it is not witnessed by two witnesses. But if it is concealed and witnessed that is subject to further discussion. If it is both witnessed and announced, there is no dispute as to its validity. If it is neither witnessed nor announced, then it is invalid according to most scholars; even if some held a different view, they are very few. End quote from al-Ikhtiyaaraat al-Fiqhiyyah, p. 177. Based on this, if the marriage was announced and became known, then it is valid, but it is better to repeat the marriage contract in the presence of the wali and two witnesses of good character who are Muslims, based on the view of the majority. And Allah knows best. Excerpted, from: http://islamqa.com/en/Question : When I was on my home leave last year, I ran away with a woman and arranged for our marriage to be performed in a friend's house, who acted as her guardian. What prompted us to do so was that she was being forced by her parents to marry someone she did not want to marry. Our marriage could not be consummated because of her illness at the time. However, we went back to her family, but her parents refused to recognize the marriage. They claimed that we cannot be considered as man and wife because they had not consented to this marriage in the first place, and because she is staying with her parents and supported by them. Perhaps I should add here that she only returned to her family's home after her parents agreed initially to celebrate our marriage. Could you please let me know whether our marriage is valid or not? Answer : To start with, you should not have taken that woman away from her parents in order to marry her. Marriage is a relationship which starts a family. It must, therefore, remain a family affair from the start to the finish. When a woman is living with her parents, she may not just go out and get married without their consent. She must have a guardian who acts for her in conducting her marriage. When her father is present, no one may have guardianship other than him. Moreover, the Prophet says, "No marriage may be contracted without the presence of a guardian and two witnesses." It is true that according to the Hanafi school of thought, the marriage may be valid. However, in the face of this clear and authentic Hadith, the opinion of any scholar which clashes with it is not to be taken. Sometimes scholars may take a weaker opinion in preference to a better supported one because the circumstances of the case make the application of such an opinion likely to serve a more important purpose. A case like yours where the marriage was carried out without the consent of the woman's parents may be given a ruling of valid marriage, adopting the opinion of Imam Abu Hanifah, if the circumstances required that. Suppose that the marriage has been in effect for several years and several children were born into that marriage. The wife's parents may have already relented and accepted the marriage as an accomplished fact. When such a case is put to a scholar, he has a very strong reason to let things stand as they are, taking into consideration the interests of the young children as something of paramount importance. Any scholar who opts for this opinion will be looking at the fact that the Hanafi school of thought was implemented in the Muslim state for several hundred years. Having said that, I must add that in your particular case the same cannot be applied. Your marriage has not been consummated and your lady is still living with her parents. Why should we overlook the express Hadith in favor of a ruling by a scholar, eminent as he certainly was. No man's opinion may be taken in preference to a clear and authentic Hadith. You say that your friend acted as your lady's guardian. What right has he got to do so? A woman may ask someone whom she trusts to act for her in her marriage contract only if she has no Muslim relative who may undertake the task. But to ask someone to be a guardian only because he is willing to oblige in a situation which is kept secret from the woman's family is unacceptable. The case would have been different if the woman was living in a place very far from the rest of her family and she went to the judge of her locality and explained matters to him, and he consented to her request to be her guardian. Such an arrangement would have been acceptable. But in your case, the situation is simply a marriage undertaken without the consent of the woman's father. Therefore, its validity is strongly suspect. Having said that, I must add that since the woman's parents promised you and their daughter to make the necessary arrangements to sanction your marriage, they should honor their promise. To start with, they should not have tried to force their daughter to marry someone she did not want. If she wanted someone else and he is acceptable on account of his faith and honesty, they should not withhold their consent. The Prophet tells all parents: "If you have a proposal by someone whose faith and honesty you find acceptable, then sanction his marriage. If you do not do so, chaos and much corruption will be the result." What I would advise you is, to adopt a wise and understanding approach to the matter. You should go to the woman's parents and try to arrive at a clear understanding with them. Try to show them that if they consent your marriage with their daughter, things will be better all round. They may find it difficult to consent to the marriage as something imposed on them. Try to give them the feeling that they consent to it as a matter of choice. Perhaps you can seek the help of someone who has influence in their family, such as an uncle of the father or a brother. Perhaps they need time to demonstrate that they are not acting under pressure from you or from their daughter. If so, you should be understanding. From your letter, they appear to be rather amenable. Try not to deal with them as if you were in confrontation, but rather you understand their attitude and you want a solution which satisfies everyone. In this way, you may achieve your purpose without allowing friction to creep into the family. Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News - Jeddah )
16. Marriage: Status of an imam for Marriage Question : When I married my wife, she was a Christian. The witness to the marriage was my sister, her husband and the imam who took care of the formal contract of marriage. I did not ask the consent of her parents, since they wanted us to get married in the presence of a priest or a judge, which I declined. Later, my wife became a Muslim. Now we have three children. In view of the requirement of a woman's guardian to be present when the marriage contract is made, I would like to know whether my marriage is valid. Answer : From what I gather from your letter, your wife's parents were willing to attend to your marriage contract, if it was done by a priest or a judge. Perhaps you would have been well advised to grant their wish and have the marriage officiated by a judge, even if he would not have been a Muslim. If you have enough Muslim witnesses, i.e. a minimum of two, then the marriage would have been perfectly valid. However, you did not wish to do that and wanted an imam to officiate. Let me tell you that in Islam, an imam does not have any particular status, except that given to him by his knowledge of Islam. Therefore, anyone who knows the rules of marriage and how a marriage contract should be done can make the marriage. Indeed, the marriage can be done without the presence of any such person, if the two parties concerned i.e. the husband and the wife's guardian know how to make the commitment and acceptance which are necessary for the marriage contract to be concluded. I see no point for you to be worried about the validity of your marriage. It is certainly valid, since it has had enough witnesses. The imam himself should be considered your wife's guardian because at that particular time, she could have no guardian. You may be sure that there is no question about the validity of your marriage. Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News - Jeddah )
17. Marriage: Parental consent for marriage Question : I know a non-Muslim girl who is ready to accept Islam and whom I wish to marry. My parents disagree with me and say that I should not marry her. Would I be 'not dutiful' to my parents if I go ahead and marry her? Answer : Being dutiful to parents requires you to be kind to them and respectful of their wishes. This does not mean that you have to obey them in every single case. It is often the case that you can determine what serves your interests better than your parents who may not be as experienced in your affairs as you yourself are. Part of being kind to parents is not to show them that you do not think highly of their opinion. It is always possible to persuade parents to change their opinion on many matters, if one is able to show them that a different course of action serves the best interests of their son. However, it is often the case that parents can see certain things which their son or daughter are unable to see, because of their immediate involvement in a certain situation. When a son or daughter defers to his parents' opinion, praying Allah to guide him to what is in his own benefit, he is likely to be more successful, because Allah rewards him for being so dutiful to his parents and guides his footsteps to what is beneficial and proper. I cannot give you any concrete advice on whether you should marry this girl or not. I realize that there is mutual agreement between the two of you to get married. Both of you think that your marriage will be very successful. It may be so, but it is often possible to be rash in such situations. Therefore, it is always wise to be extra-cautious. You should ask yourself whether the readiness which your friend shows to embrace Islam is a genuine desire motivated by an appropriate understanding of Islam or is it simply a step she is ready to take in order to secure that she is married to you? This makes a great deal of difference. If it is the latter, then you should listen to your parents and abandon the idea of marrying her altogether. On the other hand, if this woman has made a good study of Islam and is ready to become a Muslim, then she may be a very good wife to you. [If the lady has made a conscious decision to embrace Islam, she would not then relate it to her marriage to you. She would embrace Islam, regardless of whether or not this marriage were to take place.] What you should do [in such a case] is to try to make your parents see her virtues so that they consent to your marriage and all is well within the family. If they, nevertheless, continue to object, you will not be doing something forbidden if you go ahead and marry her, realizing that she is a good Muslim. Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News - Jeddah ) 18. Marriage: Rights and Obligations Question: I have had my nikkah for about 7 months and my husband and we do not get along we constantly fight and argue. He does not like any of my actions. He is the serious type all the time while I am serious at times but joke around at times. I usually joke around with his sisters or my brother. I am always respectful to my elders and act maturely in the presence of family and friends. I feel he is trying to alter my entire personality the way to his liking. I understand I did change myself according to his liking however I would like to keep some traits of my personality. I asked several family members if I am constantly acting immaturely and they all replied that I am serious when I need to be and joke around when it is appropriate. I do not know what to do. My husband hates all my actions he wants to completely change me. I feel that he is always suffocating me, and is always making me feel bad at myself. What should I do in order to satisfy my husband yet keep some of my personality traits and feel good about myself? Answer:
It goes
without saying that in Islam it is the duty of the husband and wife to
see that they are a source of comfort and tranquility for each other.
They should do everything physically, emotionally and spiritually to
make each other feel happy and comfortable. They must care for each
other. 1- Consort with his wife in an equitable and kind manner. Allah Almighty says, ".... and consort with them in kindness...." (An-Nisa' 4:19)
2-
Have responsibility for the full maintenance of the wife, a duty which
he must discharge cheerfully, without reproach, injury, or
condescendence. Allah Almighty says:
"Let him who
hath abundance spend of his abundance, and he whose provision is
measured, let him spend of that which Allah hath given him. Allah asketh
naught of any soul save that which He hath given it. Allah will
vouchsafe, after hardship, ease."
(At-Talaq 65:7)
1- The wife's residence must be adequate so as to provide her with the reasonable level of privacy, comfort, and independence. The welfare of the wife and the stability of the marriage should be the ultimate goal. 2- What is true of the residence is true of clothing, food, and general care. The wife has the right to be clothed, fed, and cared for by the husband, in accordance with his means and her style of life. These rights are to be exercised without extravagance or miserliness.
Non-Material Rights: A husband is commanded by the law of God to: 1- Treat his wife with equity. 2- Respect her feelings, and to show her kindness and consideration. 3- Not to show his wife any aversion or to subject her to suspense or uncertainty. 4- Not to keep his wife with the intention of inflicting harm on her or hindering her freedom.
5-
Let her demand freedom from the marital bond, if he has no love or
sympathy for her. B. The Wife's Obligations; The Husband's Rights:
The main
obligation of the wife as a partner in a marital relationship is to
contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage as much as
possible. She must be attentive to the comfort and well-being of her
mate. She may neither offend him nor hurt his feelings. Perhaps nothing
can illustrate the point better than the Qur'anic statement which
describes the righteous people as those who pray saying:
"Our Lord!
Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the joy and the comfort of
our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteousness." (Al-Furqan 25:74) 1- The wife must be faithful, trustworthy, and honest. 2- She must not deceive her mate by deliberately avoiding conception lest it deprive him of legitimate progeny. 3- She must not allow any other person to have access to that which is exclusively the husband's right, i.e. sexual intimacy. 4- She must not receive anyone in his home whom the husband does not like. 5- She may not accept their gifts without his approval. This is probably meant to avoid jealousy, suspicion, gossip, etc., and also to maintain the integrity of all parties concerned. 6- The husband's possessions are her trust. If she has access to any portion thereof, or if she is entrusted with any fund, she must discharge her duty wisely and thriftily. She may not lend or dispose of any of his belongings without his permission. 7- With respect to intimacy, the wife is to make herself desirable; to be attractive, responsive, and cooperative. 8- A wife may not deny herself to her husband, for the Qur'an speaks of them as a comfort to each other. Due consideration is, of course, given to health and decency.
9-
Moreover, the wife is not permitted to do anything that may render her
companionship less desirable or less gratifying. If she neglects
herself, the husband has the right to interfere with her freedom to
rectify the situation and insure maximum self-fulfillment for both
partners. She is not permitted to do anything on his part that may
impede her gratification." 19. MARRYING A GIRL WITH WHOM HE HAD A RELATIONSHIP
Question: Firstly: Before answering your question, we must remind you that it is obligatory to repent and regret what you have done with this woman, because you have fallen into several major sins, the most serious of which is zina (fornication) which is clearly forbidden in the Qur'aan and Sunnah, and the scholars are unanimously agreed that it is haraam, and wise people are unanimously agreed that it is abhorrent and evil. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin), and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allah forgives him)” [Al-Isra’ 17:32] And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the time when he is committing adultery.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2475) and Muslim (57). There is a severe punishment for zina in al-Barzakh, before the punishment in the Hereafter. In the famous hadeeth of Samurah ibn Jundub (may Allah be pleased with him) about the dream, it says: “… then we [i.e., the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and Jibreel and Mikaa’eel] proceeded and came to something like a tannoor (a kind of oven), in which there were clamouring voices.” He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] said: “We looked into it and there we saw naked men and women. Flames were coming to them from the bottom of it, and when the flames reached them, they made uproar. I said to them [i.e., the two angels who were accompanying him], ‘Who are these?’ … They said, ‘We will tell you. As for the naked men and women in the structure that resembled a tannoor oven, they are the adulterers and adulteresses.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6640). Allah has ordained the hadd punishment for zina. He says concerning the hadd punishment for an unmarried person (interpretation of the meaning): “The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment” [An-Noor 24:2] As for the person who has previously been married, the hadd punishment is execution, In the hadeeth narrated by Imam Muslim in his Saheeh (3199) it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “For a previously-married person with a previously-married person, [the punishment is] one hundred lashes and stoning.” What we have said to you applies to the woman too, and she should realize that her sin is even worse, but because, as you say, she has become righteous, we hope that her repentance is sincere and that Allah will forgive her by His grace and kindness. Secondly: You should note that if you have not both repented from the sin of zina, then it is not permissible for you to marry her, because Allah has forbidden the zaani and zaaniyah to marry unless they both repent. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)” [An-Noor 24:3] Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: This clearly points to the abhorrent nature of zina, and that is tarnishes the honour of the one who does it in a way that other sins do not. Allah tells us that no woman would marry a zaani but a woman who is also a zaaniyah, who is like him, or a mushrik woman who associates others with Allah and does not believe in the Resurrection or in reward and punishment (in the Hereafter), and who does not adhere to the commands of Allah. And similarly, no one would marry a zaaniyah except a zaani or a mushrik. “Such a thing is forbidden to the believers” means, it is haraam for them to marry zaanis or zaaniyahs. What the verse means is that if a person wants to marry the man or woman who commits zina and has not repented from that, despite the fact that Allah has prohibited that, then he is either not adhering to the ruling of Allah and His Messenger, in which case he cannot be anything but a mushrik, or he is adhering to the ruling of Allah and His Messenger but he agrees to this marriage despite knowing that this person has committed zina, in which case this marriage is also zina, and he is an immoral zaani. If he truly believed in Allah, he would not do that. This clearly indicates that it is haraam to marry a zaaniyah unless she repents, or to marry a zaani unless he repents, because marriage is the strongest type of companionship, and Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Assemble those who did wrong, together with their companions...” [As-Saaffaat 37:22]. Allah has forbidden that because of what it involves of great evil, and lack of protective jealousy, and attribution of children who are not his to the husband, and the zaani failing to keep her chaste because he is distracted elsewhere, any one of which is sufficient reason for the prohibition. End quote. Tafseer al-Sa’di (p. 561). The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked: A man committed zina with a virgin and wants to marry her. Is it permissible for him to do that? They replied: If the matter is as described, each of them must repent to Allah and give up this sin, and regret what has happened of immoral actions, and resolve not to do it again, and do a lot of good deeds, in the hope that Allah will accept their repentance and turn their bad deeds into good. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allah, nor kill such person as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse __ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. (68)The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; (69) Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful (70) And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allah with true repentance” [Al-Furqaan 25:68-71] If he wants to marry her, then he must wait for one menstrual cycle to establish whether her womb is empty before doing the marriage contract with her. If it turns out that she is pregnant, then it is not permissible for him to do the marriage contract with her until after she gives birth, in accordance with the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade a man to water the crop of another with his own water. End quote. Fataawa Islamiyyah (3/247). So repent to Allah and set your affairs straight, and do a lot of good deeds, and after that it will be permissible for you to get married. We ask Allah to accept your repentance and to forgive you, by His grace and mercy. 20. ISLAM'S STANCE ON LOVE AND MARRIAGE Question : What if two Muslims, a boy and a girl, are deeply in love with each other? Is such thing allowed in Islam? And what if there is another man who has already asked for the girl’s hand in marriage but she's rejected the proposal, and she does not want to marry anyone else; does such kind of love exist in Islam? Answer : There is a difference between love and romance. Romance, if not checked, may mean wasting time, effort and dignity. Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Besides, the concept of love in Islam is very unique, when a Muslim loves something or somebody, it must be for the sake of Allah; the same applies to hatred. Islam teaches us that marriage is the finest, purest and permissible relationship that should exist between a male and female; it should be the goal that they both have in mind. There is no room in Islam for illicit affairs or the Western vogue-word of boyfriend and girlfriend. All those stories of media and movies are not helpful to make a person comply with the teachings of Islam. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says: "Three qualities, if found in a person, will help him have perfect faith: Having Allah and His Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, as the most beloved ones, loving a person only for the sake of Allah and hating getting back to Kufr (disbelief) the way one hates to be thrown into fire." That means love is a fruit of piety. Love without piety is mischief. There is no concept of courtship in Islam as it is practiced in the West. There is no dating or living in de facto relationship or meeting each other for understanding. There is to be no physical relationship whatsoever before marriage. The romantic notions that occupy the mind of young people often have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the West to understand this point. To give an example, the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on. Yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. Romance and love simply do not result in an everlasting bond between two people.
In most
cases, romance and love die out very quickly when couple find themselves
with the real world. The unrealistic expectation that young people have
is what often contributes to the failure of their relationship. From an Islamic perspective, in choosing a partner, the most important factor that should be taken into consideration is Taqwa (piety and consciousness of Allah). The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, recommended the suitors to see each other before going through with marriage procedures. That is very important because it is unreasonable for two people to be thrown into marriage and be expected to have a successful marital life, full of love and affection, when they know nothing of each other. The couple are permitted to look at each other. This ruling does not contradict the Qur'anic verse that says, “… believing men and women should lower their gaze… ” (An-Nur 24:30). The couple, however, are not permitted to be alone in a closed room or go out together alone. As the Hadith says: "When a man and a woman are together alone, the Shaytan (Satan) makes their third." One of the conditions of a valid marriage is the consent of the couple. Marriage by definition is a voluntary union of two people. The choice of a partner by a Muslim virgin girl is subject to the approval of the father or guardian. This is to safeguard her welfare and interests. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "The widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until she has consented to that and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is sought." The Prophet did nullify the marriage of a girl who complained to him that her father had married her against her wishes. Though love is something nice, and it is recommended for a man to marry a woman whom he loves, because the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage.” (Sahih Al-Jami`, 5200) However, this love should not be overwhelming and cause a person to forget other characteristics which he should look for in the person he wants to marry. The most important characteristic is religious commitment. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, says: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her commitment to religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!” (Agreed-upon Hadith). Dear brother in Islam, we hope that the main points of the issue have become clear. Now, let’s assume that you are the subject of the hypothesis you draw in your question: On what basis would you like to choose your partner? Wouldn’t you look to her commitment to Islam – does she pray regularly, for example? Does she adhere to the Islamic Hijab prescribed by Shari'ah? If the lady you want to marry is religious, of good manners, and obeys Allah and His Messenger, and both of you want to please Allah in this world in order to earn reward in the Hereafter, then you have made a perfect choice, and we ask Allah to fulfill your hopes and bring you together in a good way. If she is not, then you should reconsider your choice. May Allah help you to do what He loves and what pleases Him!
As for the
second part of your question, i.e. the girl’s refusal to marry a person
who has asked her hand in marriage, we suggest that, if such thing
happens, the person in question can make efforts and seek all
permissible ways to persuade the father or the guardian of the girl to
give her in marriage to him. One can just bring mediators from within
the family, i.e. he can resort to those people whose word carries weight
to help in the issue. One can also seek the help of the Imam of the
Islamic Center where the girl’s father goes, to talk with him about
this, and always pray earnestly to Allah to help realize the dream if
it’s good. But we have to emphasize that it is not lawful to compel a
girl to marry someone she does not want. Allah Almighty knows best. Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net
Question : How is a woman to be punished if she marries a Christian? How often is it carried out and in what countries is it most common? Answer: Praise be to Allah. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir (non-Muslim), whether he is Jewish, Christian or an idol-worshipper, because the man has authority over his wife, and it is not permissible for a kaafir to have authority over a Muslim woman. For Islam is the true religion and all other religions are false. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone)….” (Al-Baqarah 2:221) “…. And never will Allah grant to the disbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers” (An-Nisaa’ 4:141) And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Islam should prevail and should not be prevailed over.” If a Muslim woman marries a kaafir when she knows the ruling, then she is a zaaniyah (adulteress), and her punishment is the punishment for adultery. If she was ignorant of the ruling then she is excused, but they must be separated, and there is no need for a divorce because the marriage is null and void. On this basis, the Muslim woman whom Allah has honoured with Islam and her guardian must beware of that and must adhere to the limits set by Allah, and they must feel proud of Islam. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Those who take disbelievers for Awliyaa’ (protectors or helpers or friends) instead of believers, do they seek honour, power and glory with them? Verily, then to Allah belongs all honour, power and glory” (An-Nisaa’ 4:139) Written by Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Barraak Excerpted, with some modifications, from: http://islamqa.com/en/ 22. MUSLIM WOMAN MARRIAGE TO NON MUSLIM MAN AND INTERCOURSE Question : What is Islam's attitude towards a Muslim woman who marries a non-Muslim man, because she needed to do that, i.e. she was forced into this marriage?
It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir, and the marriage is not valid. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon [polytheists] till they believe (in Allah Alone) ….” (Al-Baqarah 2:221) “O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them; Allah knows best as to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them ….” (Al-Mutahanah 60:10) The fact that she was forced into that does not justify her giving in and surrendering to this marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.” This marriage is regarded as invalid, and intercourse with him is zina (fornication, adultery). End quote. Excerpted, with some modifications, from: http://islamqa.com/en/ 23. WHY WOMEN NOT ALLOWED TO MARRY NON-MUSLIM Question : I would like to know why a woman is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim man while a Muslim man can marry a Jewish or Christian lady? What is the wisdom of that? Answer : First of all, it is to be stressed that Islam does not encourage the interfaith marriages. The general rule of Islam is that Muslims should marry Muslims. A Muslim male or female should not marry a non-Muslim male or female. The only exception is given to Muslim men who are allowed to marry the chaste girls from among the People of the Book.
However, a
Muslim woman is better suited to a Muslim man than a woman of Christian
or Jewish faith, regardless of her merits. This is because marriage is
not based on fulfilling one’s sexual desires; rather, it is an
institution. It aims to establish a home on the bases of tranquility,
faith and Islamic morals. To fulfil this task, the whole family must
apply Allah’s course and try to convey His message. Allah Almighty says: “And the Jews will not be pleased with thee, nor will the Christians, till thou follow their creed. Say: Lo! The guidance of Allah (Himself) is Guidance. And if thou shouldst follow their desires after the knowledge which hath come unto thee, then wouldst thou have from Allah no protecting friend nor helper.” (Al-Baqarah 2:120)
Given the
fact that the husband is generally the head of the household, it's not
far-fetched for a non-Muslim husband to prevent his Muslim wife from
performing some Islamic rituals which may seem a nuisance to him, for
example fasting, or even refraining from marital relations during the
fast. As a result, he might force her to change her religion, and if she
refuses, the situation may culminate in divorce. In his response to the question you raised, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti, member of the North American Fiqh Council, states: "If Allah is the one who prohibits a Muslim woman from marrying a non-Muslim, then we as Muslims are supposed to believe it and to take it. As a matter of faith, you cannot become a Muslim unless you accept everything when it is ordained by Allah or carried out by his Messenger. The Qur'an says, "O Ye who believe! Put not yourselves forward before Allah and His Messenger .…" (Al-Hujurat 49:1) If you ask about the benefits of not marrying a non-Muslim, we can count you many reasons. A man is the manager of his household. He will persecute his Muslim wife in many dos and don'ts. She can hardly guarantee that kind of operation. Moreover, marriage is an institution for elevating our levels of having a good Islamic life. Pleasing Allah is our number one goal. If a woman is married to a non-Muslim, maybe the only thing she will accomplish in her marital life is what is good for livestock." Shedding more light on the question, we'd like to cite the words of the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheik Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, in his well-known book, The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam:
"It is
haram for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, regardless of
whether he is of the People of the Book or not. We have already
mentioned the saying of Allah,
"And do not
marry (your girls) to idolaters until they believe ...."
(Al-Baqarah 2:221) Thus, while a Muslim man is permitted to marry a Christian or Jewish woman, a Muslim woman is not allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish man. There are many sound reasons for this difference. First, the man is the head of the household, the one who maintains the family, and he is responsible for his wife. And while Islam guarantees freedom of belief and practice to the Christian or Jewish wife of a Muslim, safeguarding her rights according to her own faith, other religions, such as Judaism and Christianity, do not guarantee the wife of a different faith freedom of belief and practice, nor do they safeguard her rights. Since this is the case, how can Islam take chances on the future of its daughters by giving them into the hands of people who neither honor their religion nor are concerned to protect their rights?
A marriage
between a man and woman of different faiths can be based only on the
husband's respect for his wife's beliefs; otherwise a good relationship
can never develop. Now, the Muslim believes that both Judaism and
Christianity originated in divine revelation, although later distortions
were introduced into them. He also believes that God revealed the
Tawrah to Moses and the Injeel to Jesus, and that both Moses
and Jesus (peace be on them) were among the Messengers of Allah who were
distinguished by their steadfast determination. Accordingly, the
Christian or Jewish wife of a Muslim lives under the protection of a man
who respects the basic tenets of her faith, her Scripture, and her
Prophets, while in contrast to this the Jew or Christian recognizes
neither the Divine origin of Islam, its Book, or its Prophet (peace be
on him). How then could a Muslim woman live with such a man, while her
religion requires of her the observance of certain worships, duties, and
obligations, as well as certain prohibitions. It would be impossible for
the Muslim woman to retain her respect for her beliefs as well as to
practice her religion properly if she were opposed in this regard by the
master of the house at every step. Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net
24. WHY WOMEN NOT ALLOWED MOE THAN ONE HUSBAND
Question : If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a woman from having more than one husband? Answer : Praise be to Allah. A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women. Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical. The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:
The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry. Excerpted, with some modifications, from: http://islam.tc/ 25. WOMEN CONVERTS TO ISLAM WHILE MARRIED TO A CHRISTIAN Question : I have a question that confuses my mind. Please, clarify the Islamic stance on a woman who converts to Islam while she is married to a Christian man. Answer :
As regards
your question, we’d like to cite the following comprehensive Fatwa
issued by the European Council for Fatwa and Research, headed by
the prominent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi: Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net 26. WOMAN CONCLUDING HER OWN MARRIAGE Question :
Is it allowed for a Muslim woman to conclude her own marriage contract without the presence of her wali (guardian)? Answer : As regards the issue you raised, the European Council for Fatwa and Research issued the following Fatwa: "Marriage is one of the most important contracts for it signals the creation of a new family within society; the birth of new individuals into the world and the duties and responsibilities which fall unto each of the two partners. As a result of marriage being a contract between the two spouses as partners to the contract, the full consent of whom is deemed vital for the ratification to proceed, the Lawgiver (Allah Almighty) did not allow for the guardianship of the father of the bride or anyone else to become one by which the guardian forces or compels the woman to marry to a man whom she does not want. Indeed, Islam granted the woman full rights to accept whomever proposes to her in marriage or to reject him. Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) stated that a small girl came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and told him that her father had forced her to marry against her will. The Prophet gave her the right to choose either to stay married or to annul the marriage contract. (Reported by Imam Ahmad) The Prophetic texts all came to affirm this right for women. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stated that "The virgin shall not be married until her consent is sought neither a previously married woman until she overtly states her acceptance," he (peace and blessings be upon him) added: "and the virgin’s consent shall be sought by her father.”
By this,
Islam decreed that marriage be built upon a basis of love, compassion
and mercy. Allah Almighty stated:
"And among
His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves,
that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and
mercybetween your hearts…."
(Ar-Rum 30:21) Despite the general consensus among scholars that the approval of the woman's guardian is preferable and much more favorable, they differed regarding whether it is actually a condition for the validity of the marriage contract: 1) The majority of scholars agreed that the approval of the guardian is a condition, without which the contract would be invalid, based upon the statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who stated that: "The marriage of any woman married without the permission of her guardian is false." He (peace and blessings be upon him) also stated: “No marriage is to take place without the guardian.” 2) The followers of Imam Abu Hanifah stated that the permission of the guardian is not a condition, and they based their conclusion upon many evidences, such as the hadith narrated by Muslim and the Four Narrators of Hadith, that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stated: "The previously married woman shall have the right to decide for herself, whilst the consent of the virgin shall be sought to be married, and a sign of her consent being granted is her keeping silent." They added that that the permission of the guardian only becomes a condition if the girl is under the age of puberty. They also said that: If the adult sound-minded woman married herself (without the interference of her guardian), her marriage would be valid given all other conditions are fulfilled. Her guardian maintains the right to appeal to the Judge and request the annulment of the contract. The European Council for Fatwa and Research advises women not to disregard their guardians, who wish only for their best interest and that they marry good men rather than deceitful and ill-heart proposers. The Council also advises fathers to facilitate the marriage of their daughters and to seek their opinions as regards the suitors, without transgressing in using the rights that Islam granted to them. The Council also reminds them of the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "If someone comes to propose in marriage and he is of acceptable religion and behavior, then accept his proposal, otherwise great turbulence and corruption will spread on earth." Fathers must also realize that preventing their daughters from getting married is a great injustice, which is outlawed and prohibited by Islam. The Council also advises the Islamic Centers to take the aforementioned rules into consideration, as it is safest and best. However, if the woman does not have a legal guardian, then an Islamic Center must act as her guardian in countries lacking an Islamic Legal system. The Council finally affirms that it believes that if the mature and sound-minded woman were to marry herself (without the interference of her guardian), then her marriage would be valid.” Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net 27. WOMEN CONVERTS TO ISLAM WHILE MARRIED TO A KAFIR Question : Does a woman have to leave her kaafir husband if she becomes Muslim? What is the ruling if she refuses to leave him? Answer : Praise be to Allah. If a woman becomes Muslim and her husband is a kaafir, then the marriage is annulled, but she may wait until the ‘iddah ends, then if the husband becomes Muslim during that time, then she is still his wife, but if he does not become Muslim before the ‘iddah ends, then the annulment of the marriage becomes clear, starting from the time she became Muslim. Can he go back to her if he becomes Muslim after the ‘iddah ends? There are two scholarly opinions concerning that. The more correct view is that he may go back to her if she agrees, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) sent his daughter back to Abu’l-‘Aas ibn al-Rabee’ several years after she became Muslim, when he also became Muslim. But if she refuses then they must be separated by force by the judge. End quote. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) Excerpted, with some modifications, from: http://islamqa.com/en/ 28. ADULTERER MARRIES NOT BUT AN ADULTERESS Question : I would like to know whether it is permissible in Islam for a virgin to marry a non-virgin (the non-virgin, did not practice his religion before, and now has repented). It is stated in the Qur'an that the adulterer marries not but an adulteress or a mushrikah and the adulteress none marries her except an adulterer or a mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely he is either an adulterer, or a mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater, etc.) And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer, then she is either a prostitute or a mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress, etc.)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism). Answer : The basic rule is that a Muslim marries a chaste woman/man. Allah SWT mentioned the condition of chastity even before faith, saying in surat AL-Maida: “…. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time….” (Al-Maa’idah 5:5) That is why I advise all my brothers living in the western countries who wish to get married to a woman from the People of the Book, to make sure she is chaste and not committing zina. However, if a man or a woman committed adultery and then repented to Allah, then according to the hadith, “repentance does away with everything that went before it.” That is why the scholars interpreted the verse you quoted to mean it is not allowed for the Muslim to marry an adulterer, male or female, if they are still committing indecency and did not repent. Allah also says (interpretation of the meaning): “The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)” (An-Noor 24:3) What the verse means is that the one who marries a person, man or woman, who has committed zina and has not repented from that must be either a person who is not adhering to the rulings of Allah and His Messenger, so he cannot be anything but a mushrik, or he is adhering to the laws of Allah and His Messenger but he goes ahead with this marriage even though he knows about this zina, in which case the marriage is zina and immorality. If he were truly a believer in Allaah, he would not do that. This clearly indicates that it is haraam to marry a zaaniyah until she repents, or to marry a zaani until he repents, because the partnership between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband is the closest of partnerships. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Assemble those who did wrong, together with their companions” (As-Saaffaat 37:22). Therefore Allah has forbidden that because of the great evil that it involves. It also implies a lack of protective jealousy and implies that children may attributed to the husband who are not his, the zaani will not be keeping her chaste because he is distracted by someone else. Any one of these would be sufficient for it to be haraam. End quote. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said something similar, and said that the meaning of the verse is that the one who believes that it is haraam to marry a zaaniyah but still marries her has entered into a haraam marriage contract which he believes is haraam. A haraam contract is like one that does not exist, so it is not permissible for him to be intimate with the woman; in that case the man will be a zaani. But if he denies that it is haraam to marry a zaaniyah and says that it is permissible, then in this case the man is a mushrik, because he has declared permissible something that Allah has forbidden and has made himself a lawmaker along with Allah. This is what we say to a man who gives his daughter in marriage to a zaani.Some scholars have said that if someone fornicated with a woman, he cannot marry her; however, the opinion of the majority of scholars, which I subscribe to, states that he can marry her if she repented to Allah.And if someone married a woman/man that he/she committed zina and repented sincerely, he/she must forgive each other before marriage and never broach this issue after marriage.Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net 29. PRESENT PEOPLE OF BOOK FOR MARRIAGE Question : A Muslim is allowed to marry a woman from the people of the Book. Please enlighten as to in today's world who would qualify as a woman from the People of the Book. Thanks Answer : A Muslim is allowed to marry from the Christian and Jewish communities provided that: 1. The woman believes in her religion, and not just calling herself a Christian. 2. She is a chaste, meaning she is not committing fornication. 3. He trusts her for the future of this marriage and the upbringing of his children according to Islam. Excerpted from: www.islamonline.net 30. SECOND MARRIAGE WITHOUT FIRST WIFE CONSENTQuestion :Does the husband need the first wife’s permission to have a second wife? Answer : Answering question, Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states: “If a man is able to take a second wife, physically and financially, and he can treat both wives in a just manner, and he wants to, then he is allowed to do so according to Islam. Allah says, “…. Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one ....” (An-Nisa 4:3) It is well known that women are by nature jealous and reluctant to share their husband with other women. Women are not to be condemned for this jealousy, for it existed in the best of righteous women, the wives of the Companions, and even in the Mothers of the Believers. But women should not let jealousy make them object to that which Allah has permitted, and they should not try to prevent it; a wife should allow her husband to marry another woman for this is a kind of cooperating in righteousness and piety. The first wife’s consent is not a prerequisite for a man to take another wife. The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked about this and replied as follows: It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second wife, to have the consent of his first wife, but it is good manners and kindness to deal with her in such a manner that will minimize the hurt feelings such thing might produce. So it’s incumbent on the husband to be kind to his wife, discuss the matter with her in a gentle and pleasant manner, and this should be coupled with spending whatever money may be necessary in order to gain her acceptance of the situation.” So in the light of the above, it’s clear that the matter is not just having a right to do so, it’s how you use that right. As we have said in many fatwas how Islam caters for the rights of women, men should not tamper with rights that Islam made inalienable to women, part of which is to respect their humanity. They are not property that can be done with at any time without any consideration; women are life partners. Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net 31. MUT'AH — THE LIMITED MARRIAGE Question : In a recent discussion with friends, it was mentioned that a marriage known as "Mut’ah" was permitted at the Prophet's time. It was later prohibited by the second or third caliph. Please clarify. Answer : What has been mentioned in your discussion is incorrect. Mut'ah in the context of marital relationship means a marriage intended for a specified period of time. This is declared at the time the contract is made. The prospective husband mentions to his prospective wife that they are marrying for a year or a longer or shorter period, and she agrees to that. When the period is over, their marriage is dissolved automatically. This is not acceptable in Islam. It was the Prophet who declared that it is forbidden. He made this declaration on his return from the expedition to Tabuk, at the head of a large army. The confusion arises from the fact that there are reports that one or two companions of the Prophet had such a limited marriage when they were with the army on the way to Tabuk. This might have been so, but the express prohibition was made on the return journey. Even if these reports were true, they signify nothing more than a new restriction forbidding something that had been practiced in the past. There are numerous examples of such things. Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamonline.net
32. Husband & wife: Rights and duties Question : Could you please explain the rights and duties of a married couple? How does Islam view a situation where a woman is unwilling to do what her husband says, but she follows what her parents say? Can a woman stay in her parents' home in the case of a quarrel between her and her husband? What is the maximum period of such a stay? Can a man have a second wife without obtaining his first wife's permission? May I also ask about the terms and conditions of divorce? Answer : Rights and duties of a married couple The Prophet has laid down the basis on which the marital relationship is established. He has enjoined his followers to treat their wives well. He says: "I enjoin you to be good to your women." We cannot fulfill the prophet's instructions unless we establish a relationship with our wives on the basis of mutual care and kindness. The Prophet has highlighted the importance of taking good care of our women when he made that one of the three areas to which he has drawn our attention just before he passed away. He repeated these recommendations: "Attend regularly to your prayer. Do not charge your slaves with what they cannot bear. Fear Allah in your treatment of woman." With all this emphasis on taking good care of women, Islam has outlined certain rights and duties for both man and woman which must be honored. Both can claim equal rights against each other, except for those minor differences which are necessitated by the nature of their roles and the way they are created. Allah says in the Qur'an: "....In accordance with justice the rights of the wives (with regard to their husbands) are equal to the (husband's) rights with regard to them...." (Al-Baqarah 2:228). It is true that many people do not pay any heed to such an instruction. However, a true Muslim always tries to do his duties, hoping to earn Allah's pleasure. His efforts to do what is required of him is not motivated by his fear of the law; its primary motivation is acting on Allah's instructions. This has not been said in generalities. The Prophet has specified the rights of a woman against her husband when he was asked by one of his men companions: "Messenger of Allah, what rights a man's wife holds against him?" He answered: "That you feed her when you find food to eat, and dress her when you dress yourself, and that you do not strike her on her face and do not abuse her verbally, and that you do not boycott her except within the home." (Related by Abu Dawood and Ibn Hibban). We see, then, how it is not permissible for a Muslim to ignore or overlook supporting his wife. It is not up to him to decide whether to provide her with clothes. That is a right. The Prophet says: "It is sufficient of a sin for anyone to allow those entrusted to his care to perish." It is forbidden, as we have seen, for a man to hit his wife on her face. This is the worst humiliation. Besides, we have some very important organs in our heads. A strike on the face could cause blindness, deafness, a broken tooth or jaw or a bleeding nose. This is not permissible. While Islam has given a husband the right to discipline a disobedient wife, it has left only a very small room for hitting her as a last resort when all efforts to make her see reason have failed. Besides, such a strike must not be painful. In order to understand what sort of beating is allowed, we can refer to a Hadith which quotes the Prophet as threatening a servant of his when he was angry with her: "If it was not for my fear that Allah will inflict His punishment on me on the day of judgment, I would have beaten you with this "miswak" (tooth brush) until it hurts." The Prophet portrays beating a woman in a very bad light, as he says: "How is it that any one of you could beat his wife as he beats a slave, when he may have intercourse with her at the end of the day?" The Prophet has specified the rights of a woman against her husband when he was asked by one of his men companions: "Messenger of Allah, what rights a man's wife holds against him?" He answered: "That you feed her when you find food to eat, and dress her when you dress yourself, and that you do not strike her on her face and do not abuse her verbally, and that you do not boycott her except within the home." (Related by Abu Dawood and Ibn Hibban). You need only imagine what sort of pain could the beating with a "miswak" cause. It is also not permissible for a Muslim to hurt verbal abuse on his wife. It is needless to say that verbal abuse creates ill-feeling. Islam is keen not to allow such ill-feeling to develop. Moreover, the Prophet reminds us that our relationship with our wives is so intimate that it must not be allowed to be strained. Otherwise, we land ourselves in contradictions which are bound to have a bad effect on our marriage. The Prophet portrays beating a woman in a very bad light, as he says: "How is it that any one of you could beat his wife as he beats a slave, when he may have intercourse with her at the end of the day?" Referring to those who beat their wives, the Prophet says: "You will not find these among the best of you." According to Lady Aisha, "Allah's messenger has never beaten any of his wives or servants. Indeed, he never beat anyone except for the cause of Allah or when what Allah has consecrated was violated: He would then punish those who violated them." The Prophet has outlined the rights of a man against his wife. He says: "It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah to admit into her husband's home anyone whom he does not like to be admitted, or to go out when he disapproves, or to obey anyone against her husband, or to banish herself from his bed, or to hit him (if she is stronger than him). If he has started with unkindness, she should try to please him. If he accepts, then she has done well and Allah will accept her effort and make her argument stronger. If he does not respond to her reconciliation attempt, then she has done what is required of her." (Related by Al-Hakim). Both man and wife should be considerate, realizing that their life together is a partnership in which they have equal rights. Neither of them should be domineering so as to negate the personality of the other. A woman is required to obey her husband but he also must consider her wishes and preferences. When we speak of obedience, we are not talking about a highly disciplined life, where a woman is held to account for every slight deviation from a set rule. We are simply speaking about an ultimate possibility to which recourse can be made when differences cannot be amicably resolved. Within their home and in what relates to their life together, a woman has to give priority to her husband. His requests take precedence over those of her parents, but in neither case is she allowed to obey anyone in what constitutes disobedience to Allah. Married woman going to parents home on anger If a quarrel takes place between a man and his wife and he wants to send her to her parents' home, she may go. This should not be prolonged because the normal situation is for a man and wife to live together. Married woman staying at parents home on anger You ask how long is she allowed to stay with her parents. There is no maximum limit as long as this is felt to be conducive to reconciliation. However, the situation becomes improper if the break between man and wife becomes total, but he is unwilling to divorce her in order to prevent her from marrying someone else. It is not permissible for a man to hold his wife in such a manner, neither giving her the life of a married woman nor setting her free so that she can marry another man. If he is making demands, particularly unreasonable ones, in order to grant her divorce, he goes beyond the limits of what Allah has allowed. Wife's permission to marry another woman A man does not need his wife's permission to marry another woman. Allah has granted him this privilege and he may exercise it if he thinks that he can cope well with its requirements. The main requirement is to treat his two or more wives fairly. Justice must be maintained between them. Otherwise, he is not allowed to marry more than one. Terms and conditions of divorce If a man wants to divorce his wife, he should make sure first that their marriage cannot work. He should exhaust all possibilities of reconciliation. Islam provides for a method of arbitration when each of them appoints an arbiter and the two meet together to find some way out of the difficulties the married couple have been experiencing. If that fails and divorce seems the only way out, then the man must make sure of divorcing at the right time. It is forbidden, for example, to divorce a woman when she is in her menstruation period. He then declares that he divorces her, but he pronounces the word of divorce once only. It is forbidden to say it three times in succession, as many people do. She then starts her waiting period, staying in the family home, i.e. her husband's home, but using a separate bedroom. He has to support her during her waiting period and she need not cook for him or do any household duties. During her waiting period, they have a chance to reinstate their marriage without the need to have a fresh marriage contract. Two witnesses need to be called to witness the divorce and the remarriage if that happens. When the waiting period is over, the divorce is complete. He should pay her all her dues such as deferred dower, if any. She rejoins her family and she may marry another man. If they want to remarry, after the waiting period is over, they need to have a new marriage contract. He must pay her a new dower, provided that the divorce is a first or second time one. If the divorce has taken place for a third time, they cannot remarry until she has married another man which should be a full and complete marriage, intended to last until either of them dies. If it so happens that she is divorced by this second man or if he dies, she may marry her first husband, if they both agree. Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News - Jeddah ) Question: A wife is constantly arguing with her husband about matters of the deen for which there are two legal opinions. This is upsetting the husband and could break up the marriage. She says I can argue with you because the wives of the Prophet often used to challenge and argue with him. However, she is often too "up-front" and disrespectful. What advice can you offer this couple, in particular the wife? Please, answer this question as this is turning into a bad situation between the spouses. Answer: Praise be to Allah. The advice we give to these two spouses is that they are both creatures who should submit themselves to the laws of Allah, because this is where happiness lies. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable…” [Al-Baqarah 2:228] So both spouses must treat the other kindly. Marriage is based on love, not on defiance or provocation, because these usually occur between enemies, and if they happen between people who love one another, they usually cause hatred and do the couple no good. Allah says : “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy…” [Ar-Room 30:21] A woman needs to be looked after by her husband for the personal, physical and social, points of view. She is also entitled to sexual fulfillment. When her husband is away from home for a long period, her sense of lack of fulfillment may weigh down heavily on her. It is the piety for her to control her sex desires by keeping herself busy in her affairs and worshipping with hoping a reward for her chastity. Same way, husband has also to keep his sex desires suppressed in the same way. So the husband should debate with his wife in a gentle manner, when away. He should consult her with the intention of winning her over, not of imposing his views. He should give her room for polite debate, and he should realize that it is not right for him to impose any view on her in a matter of fiqh that concerns her alone. He has nothing to do with it if she is convinced of a different scholar’s opinion, and she is permitted to follow that scholar. The wife must be aware that the husband’s rights are great, that obeying him is obligatory and that pleasing him is part of pleasing Allah. ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf said: “The Messenger of Allah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her modesty and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, “Enter Paradise through whichever gate of Paradise you wish.”’ (Imaam Ahmad, 1573; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 660).
The
Prophet The phrase “he asks her for herself” refers to the husband asking for intercourse, and the phrase “on a saddle” refers to the saddle used for riding a camel. The hadeeth is urging women to obey their husbands and if they cannot refuse them when they are in this situation (i.e., about to ride off on a camel) then how can they refuse them in other cases? (Hadeeth by Ibn Maajah,1843; also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5239, 5295).
The
Prophet If the wife obeys her husband and treats him well for the sake of Allah, she will earn a great reward with Allah. By the same token, the man has to be patient with her, treat her well, win her over and teach her what his shar’i rights over her are. Argue with husband because the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) did
With regard to her
comment that the wives of the Prophet “Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him…” [At-Talaaq 65:7] After this, they never repeated their demands again, may Allah be pleased with them.
One time, the
Prophet
“If you
two (wives of the Prophet
So they never did
such a thing again, may Allah be pleased with them. So how can this
woman forget about the good deeds of the Mothers of the Believers and
their good treatment of the Prophet
34. WOMAN RESPONSIBILITIES TO EARN HEAVEN Question : What are responsibilities of a married woman to be a good wife to go to heaven? Answer : The wife must be aware that the husband’s rights are great, that obeying him is obligatory and that pleasing him is part of pleasing Allah. ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf said: “The Messenger of Allah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her modesty and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, “Enter Paradise through whichever gate of Paradise you wish.”’ (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 1573; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 660). If the wife obeys her husband and treats him well for the sake of Allah, she will earn a great reward with Allah. By the same token, the man has to be patient with her, treat her well, win her over and teach her what his shar’i rights over her are. Allah says in the Qur'an: "....In accordance with justice the rights of the wives (with regard to their husbands) are equal to the (husband's) rights with regard to them...." (Al-Baqarah 2:228). The Prophet has outlined the rights of a man against his wife. He says: "It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah to admit into her husband's home anyone whom he does not like to be admitted, or to go out when he disapproves, or to obey anyone against her husband, or to banish herself from his bed, or to hit him (if she is stronger than him). If he has started with unkindness, she should try to please him. If he accepts, then she has done well and Allah will accept her effort and make her argument stronger. If he does not respond to her reconciliation attempt, then she has done what is required of her." (Related by Al-Hakim). According to Islam, when marriage establishes legally then certain rights and duties get imposed on both man and wife. One of the rights of both is marital companionship.
35. MUSLIM MARRIAGE PROBLEM DUE TO CULTURE Question: I would like to ask for your advice, I am a brother, who prays, believes in Allah, prays 5 times a day, fasts in Ramadan and converted to Islam over 5 years ago. I am looking to get married, however on meeting the sister that I like, I am finding out that since her family is from another Race and because of this they will not accept me as her husband. She is a practicing Muslimah from an Indian/Pakistani/Bengali type of background, and it is typical of people of these backgrounds never let their children (especially girls) to marry outside their own cultures even if the one proposing is a practicing Muslim man. Hence the marriage cannot take place on this basis alone. Since the majority of practicing Muslims in this country are from the Indian subcontinent background, I have two questions :
1- How does a relative newcomer such as my self get married?
Answer: Praise be to Allah. With regard to the first question, and the second, as soon as you entered Islam you became one of the Muslims, with the same rights and duties as they have. Based on that, then you may strive to guard your chastity by marrying any good and righteous woman, based on the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) [regarding looking for a wife], “Look for the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper)!” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466) – whether she is also new in Islam (i.e., a convert) or not. What matters is that she should be righteous, as I mentioned. Then if you propose marriage to a righteous woman, and she or her family do not agree, then you must be patient and continue looking, whilst also continuing to pray that Allah will make it easy for you to find a righteous woman who can help you to obey your Lord. Secondly, with regard to the discrimination that you mention, Allah says : “O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has At‑Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious]” [Al-Hujuraat 49:13] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O you who believe, verily your Lord is One, and your father [Adam] is one. There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man or of a black man over a red man, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Have I conveyed (the message)?” They said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has conveyed (the message).” (Narrated by Ahmad, 5/411; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 313; it was also narrated from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah that its isnaad is saheeh, in al-Iqtidaa’, 69). According to another hadeeth, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Those who boast about their forefathers should desist or they will be less significant before Allah than the beetle that rolls up the dung with its nose. Allah has taken away from you the arrogance of Jaahiliyyah and its pride in forefathers, so a person is either a pious believer or a doomed evildoer. All the people are the children of Adam and Adam was created from dust.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3890; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 3100; and in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 312, it was said that al-Tirmidhi and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah classed it as saheeh). The dung beetle is a black bug that rolls up excrement. Hence it should become clear to you that Islam does not discriminate between one Muslim and another by any earthly standards, whether that be colour, lineage, wealth or country. Rather the only criterion by which people are regarded as superior to others before Allah is taqwa (piety, consciousness of Allah). Indeed, the sharee’ah commands the guardian of a woman, if a person comes to propose marriage who is religiously-committed and of good character and attitude, to hasten to arrange the marriage, and to beware of rejecting him and not accepting him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that then there will be much tribulation and mischief in the land.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if there is some other objection?” He said, “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him,” three times. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 866
36. MARRIED SPOUSE SAYING YOU ARE HARAAM TO ME Question : A woman swore an oath to her husband and said to him: You are haraam to me until the Day of Judgment. What is the religious ruling on that? What is required to get out of her oath? Will she be brought to account for that? Answer : Praise be to Allah. If a wife says to her husband, You are haraam for me, or you are haraam until the Day of Judgment, that does not result in zihaar or talaaq, because zihaar and talaaq can only be done by the husband. Rather it comes under the heading of making what is halaal haraam, such as stating that some kind of clothing or food is haraam. When breaking this oath she must offer expiation for breaking an oath, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! Why do you forbid (for yourself) that which Allah has allowed to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful (2) Allah has already ordained for you (O men) the absolution from your oaths ….” (Al-Tahreem 66:1-2) So Allah has described making haraam something that is halaal as a kind of oath. The expiation for breaking an oath is freeing a slave, or feeding or clothing ten poor persons. The one who cannot do any of these things must fast three days. She only breaks the oath if her husband has intercourse with her when she is willing. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: If a woman says to her husband, If you do such and such you are haraam for me like my father, what is the ruling on that? He replied: If a woman says she is haraam for her husband or she likens him to one of her mahrams, that comes under the same ruling as an oath, and does not come under the ruling on zihaar, because zihaar can only be done by husbands to wives according to the text of the Qur’aan. In that case the woman must offer expiation for breaking an oath, which is to feed ten poor persons, giving each poor person half a saa’ of the local staple food, which is equivalent to approximately one and a half kilograms, giving them either lunch or dinner; or clothing them in garments that are acceptable for praying in, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Allah will not punish you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He will punish you for your deliberate oaths; for its expiation (a deliberate oath) feed ten Masaakeen (poor persons), on a scale of the average of that with which you feed your own families, or clothe them or manumit a slave. But whosoever cannot afford (that), then he should fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths when you have sworn. And protect your oaths (i.e. do not swear much) ….” (Al-Maa'idah 5:89) If a woman makes haraam that which Allah has permitted, it comes under the same ruling as an oath. The same applies to a man making haraam that which Allah has forbidden, except his wife, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! Why do you forbid (for yourself) that which Allah has allowed to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful (2) Allâh has already ordained for you (O men), the dissolution of your oaths. And Allâh is your Maula (Lord, or Master, or Protector, etc.) and He is the All-Knower, the All-Wise. (Al-Tahreem 66:1-2) End quote from Fataawa Islamiyyah (3/301). The wife must repent to Allah for saying this, because making haraam what is halaal is not permissible. And Allah knows best. Excerpted from: http://islamqa.com/en/Question: What is the concept of engagement in Islam? Usually an engagement party is one in which the fiance/fiancee exchange rings. Is this the prescribed method in the shariah? Answer: Praise be to Allah. Engagement according to sharee’ah means that the man asks the woman to marry him. The view of the scholars is that engagement is prescribed for one who wants to get married. Allah says : “And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal…” [Al-Baqarah 2:235]and it was narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) got engaged to ‘Aa’ishah. (Al-Bukhaari, Al-Nikaah, 4793). And in Al-Saheeh it also states that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) got engaged to Hafsah. (Al-Bukhaari, Al-Nikaah, 4830). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) encouraged the one who wants to get engaged to look at the woman to whom he wishes to propose. According to the hadeeth, “When any one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.” (Abu Dawood, al-Nikaah, 2082; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 1832). But in Islamic sharee’ah there are no specific practices that must be followed with regard to engagement. What some Muslims do, announcing the engagement, having a party to celebrate and exchanging gifts, all comes under the heading of customs which are permissible in principle, and none of them are haraam except those which sharee’ah indicates are haraam – which includes the exchange of rings between the engaged couple, a custom which is known in Arabic as “dublah.” This custom goes against sharee’ah for the following reasons: 1 – Some people think that these rings increase the love between the spouses and have an effect on their relationship. This is an ignorant (jaahili) belief and is an attachment to something for which there is no basis in sharee’ah and which does not make sense. 2 – This custom involves imitating the non-Muslims such as Christians and others. It is not a Muslim custom at all. The Messenger (PBUH) warned us against that when he said, “You will inevitably follow the paths of those who came before you, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit, until even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will follow them.” We said, “O Messenger of Allah, (do you mean) the Jews and Christians?” He said, “Who else?” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-I’tisaam bi’l-Kitaab wa’l-Sunnah, 6889; Muslim, al-‘Ilm, 6723). And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, al-Libaas, 4031; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 3401). 3 – This engagement usually takes place before the ‘aqd (marriage contract), in which case it is not permissible for the man to put the ring on his fiancée’s hand himself, because she is still a stranger (non-mahram) to him, and has not yet become his wife. Finally, we will quote the words of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) on this matter: “Dublah’ is a word that refers to the engagement ring. In principle there is nothing wrong with rings (i.e., they are permissible), unless they are accompanied by certain beliefs, as some people do when the man writes his name on the ring that he gives to his fiancée, and the woman writes her name on the ring that she gives to her fiancé, believing that this will guarantee the bonds between the spouses. In this case this ‘dublah’ or engagement ring is haraam, because it represents an attachment to something for which there is no basis in sharee’ah and which does not make sense. Similarly it is not permissible for the man to put the ring on the woman’s hand himself, because she is not yet his wife, so she is still a stranger (i.e., non-mahram) to him; she is not his wife until after the marriage contract is done.” 38. Husband's long absence from home Question : I have been working in Saudi Arabia for the last five years. According to the terms of my contract, I am entitled to a one month vacation and a ticket every two years. My company stipulates that I cannot bring in my family. Therefore my wife stays home. I have been told that according to Islamic rules, one must not be absent from one's wife for more than six months, otherwise, divorce takes place. I am further told that to stay away from one's wife for more than six months is forbidden. Please comment. Answer : According to Islam, marriage establishes certain rights to and imposes duties on both man and wife. One of the rights of a wife is marital companionship. A woman needs to be looked after by her husband for the personal, physical and social, points of view. She is also entitled to sexual fulfillment. When her husband is away from home for a long period, her sense of lack of fulfillment may weigh down heavily on her. Once Umar Ibn Al Khattab, the second caliph, was walking through the streets of Madinah to find out how the people fared, as was his habit, when he overheard a woman chanting lines of poetry which described her sense of loss as a result of her husband's absence. He went to his daughter, Hafsah, one of the Prophet's wives, and asked her how long a woman could tolerate the absence of her husband. She told him that four months were the maximum period. Since many Muslims needed to be absent from home, because they were fighting with Muslim armies against Byzantine and Persian empires, Umer sent (directive) to all his commanders that every soldier, is entitled to have a home leave every four months. On the basis of this event, scholars agree that a man may be absent from home, in connection with his work or with some other purpose, for a maximum period of four months, unless his wife freely agrees to a longer period. Many workers and employees are in the same situation as you are. They choose to travel because they get better jobs and they are able to support their families better. If any of them makes the decision to work abroad in consultation with his wife and she willingly accepts that he may stay away for long periods, then there is nothing wrong with that. If she does not agree to his prolonged absence, he may not exceed four months. However, if he does, his marriage is not dissolved automatically, as was suggested by your friends. His wife may apply to an Islamic court to grant her divorce, and the court may rule in her favour. He does not commit a sin by being absent for a long period, but he is in breach of his duties towards his wife. Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News - Jeddah ) 39. IS CIVIL MARRIAGE PERMISSIBLE IN ISLAM? Question: Is civil marriage permissible in Islam? Answer: Praise be to Allah Marriage in Islam has essential “pillars” and conditions; if they are fulfilled then it is a valid marriage. The “pillars” are the proposal and acceptance. The proposal is where the woman’s wali (guardian) says: I give So and so (or my daughter or my sister) to you in marriage. Acceptance is when the man says: I accept marriage to So and so. The conditions of marriage include: Naming the bride and groom, their consent, the contract being done by the wali or his deputy, and the presence of two Muslim witnesses of good character, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali (guardian).” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1101), Ibn Majaah (1881), from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. It was also narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with them) with the wording: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 7557. Some scholars are of the view that if the marriage is announced, then there is no need for two witnesses to the marriage contract. With regard to civil marriage that is done in a court that implements man-made laws, if what is meant is documenting the marriage and recording it, then this is something that is required, so as to protect people’s rights and prevent tampering with marriage. But if the conditions of marriage are not met or it involves anything that is contrary to sharee’ah with regard to divorce and so on, then it is not permissible to do it, unless documentation of the marriage cannot be done otherwise, or if the person has no choice but to do it. In that case he can do the correct marriage contract according to sharee’ah in an Islamic centre, then do the civil marriage in the court, but he should resolve to refer to sharee’ah law in the event of any dispute, and to disavow himself of the false rituals that accompany the marriage contract in some countries. The Muslims who live in western countries should strive to have their marriages recorded officially in Islamic centres, with no need to go to the civil marriage office. And Allah knows best. Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: http://islamqa.com/
40. COMMITTED ZINA & MARRIED, MARRIAGE VALID OR NOT Question : Two people got married in accordance with sharee’ah and as enjoined by Allah, but before marriage they used to get together and be intimate with one another like man and wife. What is the ruling on their marriage; is it valid or invalid? What is the expiation for what they used to do? Answer : Praise be to Allah. Firstly: Zina (fornication, adultery) is a serious crime and a major sin which takes away the quality of faith from a person, and exposes him to punishment and humiliation unless he repents. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allah Forgives him)” (Al-Isra 17:32) and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the time when he is committing adultery” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2475) and Muslim (57). And he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If a man commits zina, faith comes out of him and hovers over him like a cloud, then when he stops, faith returns to him.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (4960) and al-Tirmidhi (2625); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has told us of the punishment that those who commit zina will receive in their graves before the Hour begins, and that they will be punished with fire. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1320). Because of the abhorrent nature of this crime, Allah has decreed that the punishment for it should be stoning to death if the person is married and flogging if he was not married. The one who is faced with any such thing should hasten to repent to Allah and do a lot of good deeds, in the hope that Allah will forgive him. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allah, nor kill such person as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. (68) The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; (69) Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” (Al-Furqaan 25:68-70) “And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)” (Ta-Ha 20:82) They must also conceal themselves with the concealment of Allah, and not tell anyone about that, The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Avoid these filthy things that Allah has forbidden. Whoever has done any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. 663. Secondly: It is not permissible for a man or woman who has committed zina to get married until after he or she has repented, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)” (An-Noor 24:3) If they had both repented to Allah before getting married, and they regretted the haraam things that they had done, then their marriage is valid. But if they did the marriage contract before they repented, then the marriage is not valid and they have to repent to Allah and regret what they have done, and resolve not to do such a thing again, then they should make a new marriage contract. And Allah knows best. Excerpted, with some modifications, from: http://islamqa.com/en/ 41. REMAINING UNMARRIED FOR THE SAKE OF WORSHIP Question : Is marriage obligatory for a woman who is able to refrain from immoral actions all her life, in order to devote herself to her religion and to avoid the distractions and obligations of marriage?. Answer : Praise be to Allah. Allah has enjoined marriage, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Sâlihûn (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allâh will enrich them out of His Bounty…..” (An-Noor 24:32) And it was enjoined by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim, 1400. And there is the story of the three men who came to ask about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). When they were told about it, it was as if they thought it was not much. One of them said, “I keep away from women and I will never get married.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to this man and to his companions that he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) fasted and broke his fast, he stayed up praying and slept, and he married women. Then he said: “Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5063; Muslim, 1401. This story indicates that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) warned against the monasticism practiced by the Jews and Christians, both men and woman. So this woman should not stay unmarried. And Allah is the Source of strength. Excerpted, with some modifications, from: http://islamqa.com/en/
42: Ruling on
drinking one’s wife’s milk?
Question:
My wife is currently feeding our newborn child. During sex, I drank her
milk. Is her milk halal for me?
Before answering this question, we must explain some important points
about the rulings (ahkaam) concerning breastfeeding (al-radaa’).
1.
Breastfeeding is proven in the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and by ijmaa’
(scholarly consensus).
Qur’aan: Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…
your foster mothers who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling
sisters…”
[al-Nisa’ 4:23].
Sunnah:
Ibn ‘Abbaas reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) said: “What is forbidden by radaa’ (suckling or breastfeeding)
is the same as what is forbidden by nasab (lineage).”
(Agreed upon; al-Bukhaari, Muslim, 1444).
Ijmaa’: The scholars agree that the effect of radaa’ (breastfeeding)
prohibits marriage and creates the relationship of mahram, and permits
seeing and being alone (with the people to whom one is related through
radaa’).
2.
For breastfeeding to have the effect of transmitting its benefits from
the nursing woman to the child suckled, it must meet certain conditions,
which are:
The breastfeeding must happen within the first two years of the child’s
life, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “The
mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is)
for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling…”
(Al-Baqarah 2:233)
The number of breast feedings must total the known five feeds, in which
the child eats his fill as if eating and drinking. If the child leaves
the breast for a reason, such as to take a breath or to switch from one
breast to the other, this (i.e., each separate time the child latches
on) is not counted as one breastfeeding. This is the opinion of al-Shaafa’i,
and the opinion favoured by Ibn al-Qayyim.
The definition of rad’ah (one breastfeeding) is when the child sucks at
the breast and drinks until the milk enters his stomach, then he leaves
the breast of his own accord. The evidence for the number five (number
of breastfeedings) is the
report from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: “There
was in the Qur’aan [an aayah which stipulated that] ten [was the number
of] breastfeedings which created the relationship of mahram, then this
was abrogated [by another aayah which stipulated] five. The Messenger of
Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) died and [the aayah
which stipulated five] was still being recited as part of the Qur’aan.”
(Reported by Muslim, 1452).
In other words, the abrogation came so late that when the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) died, some people had not yet heard
that this aayah had been abrogated, but when they heard that it had been
abrogated, they stopped reciting it, and agreed that it should not be
recited, although the ruling mentioned in the aayah remained in effect.
This is an abrogation of the recitation without abrogation of the
ruling, which is one type of abrogation. Having understood this,
breastfeeding after the first two years does not create any relationship
of mahram. This is the opinion of the majority of scholars, and among
the references which they quote is the aayah cited above, along with the
hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him):
“Nothing of breastfeeding creates the relationship of mahram except what
fills the stomach to bursting point, before (the age of) weaning.”
Reported by al-Tirmidhi. (No. 1152), who said: This is a hasan saheeh
hadeeth.
The application of this according to the scholars among the Companions
of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and others is
that breastfeeding does not create the relationship of mahram except
when it is within the first two years, and anything after the first two
whole years does not create any such relationship.”
There are some other reports from the Sahaabah, such as that narrated
from Abu ‘Atiyah al-Waadi’i, who said: “A man came to Ibn Mas’ood and
said: ‘My wife was with me and her breasts were full of milk (she was
engorged). I began to suck it and spit it out. Then I came to Abu Moosa.’
He (Ibn Mas’ood) said, ‘What did you tell him?’ So he (Abu Moosa) told
him what he had told him. Then Ibn Mas’ood stood up, took the man’s hand
(and said), ‘Do you think this is an infant? Breastfeeding is what
produces the growth of flesh and blood.’ Abu Moosa said: ‘Do not ask me
anything when this scholar is among you.’” (Reported by ‘Abd al-Razzaaq
in al-Musannaf, 7/463,
no. 13895).
In al-Muwatta’ (2/603),
Maalik reported that Ibn ‘Umar said:
“There is no breastfeeding except for the one who is breastfed in
infancy; there is no breastfeeding for one who is grown up.”
Its isnaad is saheeh.
Maalik also reported in al-Muwatta’ that
‘Abd-Allah ibn Dinar said:
“A man came to ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Umar when I was with him in the
court-house, asking him about breastfeeding one who is grown up. ‘Abd-Allah
ibn ‘Umar said: ‘A man came to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab and said, “I have a
slave-girl with whom I used to have sexual relations, and my wife went
to her and gave her her milk, then when I went to her, she said, ‘Stop,
by Allah I have given her my milk.’” ‘Umar said, “Punish her (your
wife), and (continue to) go to your slave-girl, for (the ruling on)
breastfeeding only applies to breastfeeding of infants.”’”
Its isnaad is saheeh.
From this is it clear that drinking one’s wife’s milk has no effect and
does not create the relationship of mahram.
Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni (9/201):
“One of the conditions of breastfeeding creating the relationship of
mahram is that it should be within the first two years. This is the
opinion of most of the scholars.
Something like this was narrated from ‘Umar, ‘Ali, Ibn ‘Umar, Ibn
Mas’ood, Ibn ‘Abbaas, Abu Hurayrah and the wives of the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him), apart from ‘Aa’ishah. It was also
the opinion of al-Shi’bi, Ibn Shubrumah, al-Oozaa’i, al-Shaafa’i, Ishaaq,
Abu Yoosuf, Muhammad, and Abu Thawr, and was narrated in one report from
Maalik.
On the basis of the above, drinking one’s wife’s milk has no effect, but
it is better to avoid it.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen was asked about this matter,
and he replied: Breastfeeding a grown-up has no effect, because the
breastfeeding which has an effect (of creating the relationship of
mahram) is that which consists of five feedings or more within the first
two years, before weaning. On this basis, if it happened that someone
breastfed from his wife or drank her milk, he does not become her son. Fataawa
Islamiyah, 3/338. And Allah knows best.
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